Letter to the Editor: A store is divided as Army takes on Navy in epic football battle

Attention, folks! Things are about to get wild here at Sunmed, and I’m not just talking about our usual in-store antics. No, this is a full-blown war that’s about to go down, and it’s all because of one little football game.

You see, I’m a die-hard Army veteran who thinks the Black Knights are going to absolutely demolish the Midshipmen this Saturday. Meanwhile, our wellness expert Steve Culp is a former Marine. He’s a Navy fanatic through and through.

The trash talk has been relentless, the bets have been placed and the friendly competition has turned into an all-out grudge match. We are like two F/A 18s fighting for superiority, and everyone else is just trying not to get caught in the crossfire.

As an Army man, I know we’ve got the firepower to crush those Navy boys. Steve can talk all he wants, but there’s no way those Midshipmen are beating the Black Knights. Not with me watching.

Steve, on the other hand, just narrows his eyes and gives me a steely gaze that could melt a tank.

“Matt likes to act all tough, but he’s forgetting who has the superior military training here,” he said. “Navy is going to run circles around Army. You’ll see!”

The rivalry has reached a fever pitch, and everyone is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m half-expecting to start throwing punches with Steve at any moment. We’re seriously considering setting up a boxing ring in the middle of the store to settle this once and for all.

It’s like something straight out of a Hollywood action movie. I’m the grizzled Army vet, Steve’s the former Marine, and there is a whole lot of adrenaline-fueled tension. If you thought the Army-Navy game was intense, just wait until you see the showdown going down at Sunmed.

The lines have been drawn. If you stop by our store this week, be prepared for a little friendly fire. May the best military branch win.

To add to the excitement, the entire community is invited to get in on the action. Come in and drop your name into either the Army or Navy bucket. At the end of the week, we’ll draw a winner from the winning team and award them a $100 Visa cash card. (No purchase required.)

Strap in, folks. This is going to be one wild ride.

Matt Anderson
Owner, Sunmed
Quincy, Illinois